“Defective was a big word in our house. Many things were labeled defective only to miraculously turn functional once the directions had been read more thoroughly.”
“Do you remember what a cultural phenomenon homemade nachos were? If you are under thirty, you probably don’t even realize there was a time when people didn’t have nachos. We just stood around eating crackers.”
“When I read fairy tales to my daughter I always change the word “blond” to”yellow” because I don’t want her to think that blond is somehow better.”
“The person closest to actually achieving the new beauty is Kim Kardashian, who, as we know, was made by Russian scientists to sabotage our athletes.”
“I should’ve known he and I weren’t going to make it when for my 17th birthday he gave me a box of microwave popcorn and a used battery tester. You know, to test batteries before I put them in my Walkman. Like you give someone when you’re in love.”
“At ten I asked my mother if I could start shaving my legs. My dark shin fur was hard to ignore in shorts weather…”
This book is a grand, comic vacation from the stiff books I know you having sitting on your night stands. Do yourself a favor and laugh a little.